Guidance

I am learning on a daily basis that parenting is one of the hardest things that I'll ever do in life.  Everyday something new happens that I've never dealt with that I must face and figure out the best way to handle it.  Everyone talks about how great it would be to have a "How To" book for parenting.  And for years I have agreed.  How great it would be to have a manual that teaches me how to deal with 2 wild, rowdy, always energetic boys.  It would be nice to have guidance in how to deal with them fighting between each other or the competition between them.  But the truth of the matter is, we do have a "How To" book for raising kids.. its called the Bible, the living word! I haven't always been the best christian, but ever since Ryan and I got back into church and are letting God guide us through life, I realize that I am not doing this alone!  Man, what a great feeling that is!  God's word is there for every circumstance in our lives.  It can be related to raising the boys, to our marriage, to our finances, to our purpose in life and where he wants to take us, it is all right there in front of me.  All I have to do is to take the time to have a close intimate relationship with my Lord and Savior and he will show me and lead me through everything that comes my way in life.  Is it always easy?  No, but God didn't promise me that I wouldn't have hard times.  In John 16.33 it says: "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." But Praise God, in him I can have complete peace and know that he is always with me.  I have never been so focused on raising my boys the way that the Lord calls me to do than I am now.  And man is it a struggle.  The more I seek him and his ways, the more the enemy tries to interfere and wreck havoc! But I will stand strong in the Lord and rebuke the enemy in Jesus Name! I will claim the promise that he has given me and stand strong and be ready to fight!
One of my many struggles in parenting is my anger.  

• Would I ever hurt my boys?  Never!!  
• Do I lose my cool with them quickly?  Yes! 
• Do I over react to things that I shouldn't?  Yes!  
• Do I spend the time with them in Gods word like I should?  No! I do try to point things out to them throughout our daily lives what is right and wrong and what would Jesus thing about the situation at hand.  I ask them, if they think Jesus would be happy with that they have done, or the way that they have acted.  
• Do I always stop what I am doing to do something that they ask me to do? No! There are times when I tell them to go play and go about doing what I am doing.  Am I proud of that?  Not at all, it breaks my heart when I think about it.  They won't always be little, and want to do things with momma.  They won't always want to sit and love on me, or to watch tv or play games.  They'll be grown and gone before I know it and I know that I'll miss these times.  I try to remind myself of that all the time so that I can focus on living in the moment with my boys and soaking up all the love and time I can with them.  I want to know that I love them with all my heart and that I want to be with them.   

This morning was a particularly hard morning for me.  I was letting the enemy attack and not standing my ground with my armor on and my sword drawn ready to fight with God's word!  Instead I was letting him win and it threw a monkey wrench in my morning and so far it has carried on into my afternoon.  I was getting angry quick, and over reacting and not dealing well with 2 boys that didn't want to mind and do what they know is right.  All during the morning a verse kept coming to mind that really strikes home with me and that I would really like to focus on.  It is James 1:19-20 "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, ²⁰ because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires." WOW!! That hits home with me!!  I am not an anger person but I do struggle with getting anger fast and not having patience.  God was reminding me this morning that I am to be slow to anger! I am to show the boys unconditional love at all times, just like our heavenly father does for all of his children!  I don't want to display the anger of this world!  I want to shine in his righteousness and live my life pleasing to him! Heavenly Father,
I come to you, humbling myself before you.  I am not perfect.  I thank you for being showing me unconditional love even when I have done something unpleasing to you.  You still wrap your arms around me and remind me that I am the daughter of the living God!  Thank you Father for that!  Lord, I thank you for trusting me with 2 precious boys.  They are your sons! You have given them to me to love unconditionally just like you love me unconditionally, and I am to show them your love through my actions and the way that I live my daily life.  Father, I have not done a great job at that, but I know with your help and your guidance I can! You have the power to do anything and I believe that! Your are the healer of all things!  I give you honor! Father, I ask that you show me the ways that you would have me to pray for each of my boys.  Father, I want to speak heavens blessings over their lives, I want to pray for their daily lives now and in the future.  I want them to know that I am praying for them, and speaking your love in their lives and around them.  Father, break me so that I am truly know how to be the godly mother that you would have me to be!  They are my life and I can't imagine my life without them.  You have planted a love for them in my heart that is so big and so great, yet I have a hard time controlling the times when I get angry.  I pray Father, that you would do great works in my life and in the lives of my children.  I pray this in Jesus Name. Amen.

"Train up a child in the way he should go,
         Even when he is old he will not depart from it."

Proverbs 22:6