Questioning!!!

Why is it that as a parent you doubt yourself so much? Surely I am not the only parent in the world that does that!

Am I being fair?
Am I asking too much, or too little?
Should I have really said that, should I have let that slide?
Is that really going to hurt if they do that??
Pick your battles, etc...

I could go on for days!! I have recently starting really thinking about the way that I do things... and starting to question myself.. Which probably isn't always the best thing, but I can't help it. I am noticing more things that I do that I don't like doing, or shouldn't do and I want to change...
But the truth of the matter is, Change is HARD!!... No matter how much I remind myself, I said I wasn't going to do that, or I am going to do more of this, or whatever, it is a lot easier said than done!! Like so many other things in life!! Change is hard as a parent and as a person, but I am determined to do better at the things that I don't like about myself and as a parent, and do more of what I do like about myself and as a parent!! I guess sometimes, it takes things happening to make you realize, some of the things you do!! I am not going to list all of the things that I want to stop doing or start doing, one because that could take all day, and two because I am not sure that I am really ready for all the comments that I might would get about all of them!! Sad, but its the truth. A manual for the parenthood, would be great!!! Too bad there isn't one!! But I know that there are other parents that think the same thing or have thought that at some point and time! It is a learning experience, that is trial and error! Lately, I am feeling more error than anything.
It is very hard to be a parent, when you don't have a lot of patience! I have never really had much patience. You would think after 2 kids, and 6 1/2 years of having them, I would have learned more by now. NO!!! One of my flaws for sure!! But I have been taught that you never ask God for patience, because he would give me something that would really try my patience! Instead, ask God for a peace of mind and guidance!!! Which I am needing lots of!!!

Don't get me wrong, I love my boys dearly and wouldn't trade them for all the money in the world. They are truly a great blessing from God, that I am thankful for every day!! This isn't meant to be a poor pitiful me blog; just my blog to put my thoughts into words. Sometimes it helps me to write things out and then go back and read them. Sort of as my reminder of things that I want to do and not to do!!!

Note to self: God doesn't give you more than you can handle. If he gives it to you, he'll bring you through it!!